Journal writing today and this is what came out. I wanted to share.
Overwhelmed. Semi-exhausted. Frustrated. Stressed. These are all words that I feel this morning. Overwhelmed with work. Exhausted due to travel. Frustrated at the house with its mold, woodlice, ants. Frustrated at the continuing battle with our automobiles and the world of Belize auto-mechanics.
But yesterday I was sitting in the Miami airport when I saw an older “black” woman sit down (I use that term really to refer to her different skin color as at the time I was unsure of her ethnicity). In her displeasure with her husband, I saw her shoot him a look and it was in that look of displeasure that I saw THE belizean woman LOOK. It’s as if she was glaring through him and saying (without talking) “Hmmpf (as her pitch increases), you foolish” And in that moment I was home.
Yes it was a moment of snarkiness on the woman’s behalf, Yes it was frustration and yes as much as it pains me to admit, the man probably deserved it. It was familiar, comforting. It was something I totally understood and it was / is home.
As the couple started to banter / discuss / argue back and forth in Kriol, I caught myself closing my eyes and placing myself back in Belize, back home. How can one look, one conversation bring so much peace and joy?
Home back in a flash. Home after being back in the states for 3 weeks. Home from just a look and just proxy to a discussion.
We got “home” to mold, everywhere….to ants everywhere…to woodlice or evidence of them on our kitchen table and kitchen cabinets. We got home to 1 car in the shop and 1 car with no reverse (currently I am placing it in neutral and pushing it out of driveway then hopping into the car before it goes into the bushes to turn the wheel and place in drive).
Home isn’t easy. But it’s home.
The reality is that home is where the heart is and my heart is in Belize. Home is where the peace of Christ and joy of Christ abound in me more and more and being in the center of God’s will allows us to continue. We are persevering, frustrated as we bleach-wash our walls, but persevering. Because home is the center of God’s will for our lives and Belize is God’s Will for us!
There truly is no place like home.