Foster Care Update: All the questions and some answers

If you read the last post, update you realize that Amy and I are in the process of becoming licensed Foster Parents.  (if you missed the last post: Check it out here)

As we began in the journey all the questions started to flood in.

  • You’re doing Foster to Adopt right?
  • Don’t you know “those kids” have issues?
  • Where will all the kids stay / sleep?
  • Why would you do this?

And the comments:

  • I just couldn’t let them go back if they were in my house.

Amy and I were flooded with all the thoughts and some judgments and a lot of admitted ignorance.  So we wanted to take some time and try and answer some of these questions / comments / concerns.

Question 1 – Why?

We live on a principle that I heard described as BYSSIW.  Because you say so, I will.  The phrase refers to Jesus directing and providing the opportunities and for our response to be Yes Lord we will do it even when it doesn’t make since.  It’s based on the passage of Scripture in Luke 5 where Jesus asks Peter if he can get into his boat.  Peter responds Yes.  Jesus then asks Peter to let down his nets and even though that’s an insane proposition for Peter, he says “because you say so I will.”  Peter obeys Jesus fillets the miracle and follows it up by asking Peter to follow him.  Peter Obeys.

The most obvious answer to why is…Because God says so.  The Lord called us to open our home to anyone and everyone as far back as we can remember.  Amy grew up going to a friends house all the time who lived so open-handedly  My grandparents ministered to several people in this way as well.  My great-grandmother fostered well into her “golden years.”  My mom always invited people into our home, strangers or not.  Living open-handedly is part of how God made us.

When we got back to NC from Belize, we had no idea why the Lord had orchestrated it all.  We saw the sign on the side of the road by The Children’s Home here in Winston and I think we both knew in our hearts immediately this was for us.  But we were scared and waited.  Finally the kids brought it up and we instinctively knew it had all the signs of a HUGE opportunity at least as He presents them to our family from the Lord….so we obeyed.

There are many other reasons as well…that the number of Foster Children has risen by almost 11,000 children in North Carolina in the last 5 years.  That kids in the Foster system are often shipped around from home to home to home.  But the root of our rationale was we feel God calling us like Peter to put down our nets, calling us to follow Him in this  and our response as  family has to be “because you say so God, I will.”

Question 2 – You’re Fostering to Adopt right?

We will tackle the second question right now.  You’re fostering-to-adopt right??  That’s a great and legitimate question.  When we started on this journey this past late summer and into the fall, the answer was Yes.  Overwhelmingly Yes.  We wanted to be placed with kids that were only available for adoption, whose parents and extended family had already terminated their rights, and were ready for their forever home.

As we got into the classes and began to have conversations and learn more, we learned more about needs and opportunities to meet the needs for these kids and here’s what we landed on.

We desire permanency for any children placed in our lives.  We learned and now see that permanency is the best outcome for the kids that may come into our home. And the ideal situation beyond just permanency is the children reunited with their birth family.  If we can play a part in that, we are blessed.

Isn’t that risk?  Wont we open ourselves up for loss?  Yes is the obvious answer.  But we will rely on God.  Ultimately this is where we landed for our family: the fear of a potential risk will not deter our family from opening ourselves up to what we believe God has for us.   Risk or no risk.  Forever or for a season.  We believe the opportunity is from and of the Lord and we will run towards it.

We’ll leave the last few questions for another time.  The blog took a turn mid authoring.  See I started this blog last Sunday and then tried to finish it while following a thread on the Royal Rumble last night but was too distracted.  Anyway the plan is / was to finish it tonight.  Only we have an immediate update!

Update as of 1/30: OUR LICENSE IS APPROVED

GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!  We got a call today that the approval process (typically 6 – 12 weeks) was over and our license was approved in 17 days!  Now we are “on the list.”  Amy and I cried (me from excitement, Amy from unpreparedness) and now we are frantically working to finish the remodeled bedroom.  We have inventoried what we have and made a purchase list for a variety of items, sizes etc for the child / children that will be placed into our home in a moment’s notice.

So what’s next: We will meet with our Foster Care supervisor tomorrow and go over referrals (reviewing the placements that we are open to) and then it’s literally at any moment we could receive a phone call.  In the meantime, it’s a sprint to finish decorating the room, getting the last minute supplies and prepping our family for the excitement.   God’s on the MOVE!  Thanks for riding the wave with us!!

Praises

  • WE ARE APPROVED – Our last update we were praying for a miracle, children in the home by Madeline’s birthday.  Well the process that typically takes 6 – 12 weeks for approval, God moved mightily and our license was approved in 17 days.

Prayer Requests:

  • Wisdom – We are likely to get a call for children that may or may not fall within what we have designated as right for our family .  Our “right for our family” is a sibling group ages Madeline’s age to Elijah’s age, (1) of them must be a girl.  Pray that the Lord provides just that.  Pray that we have the wisdom field these referrals with all the wisdom that comes only from the Father.
  • The kids – Pray that they are safe.  Pray that they feel love, even if their situation is hard right now.  Pray that they know Him and if they don’t pray that our family can be the place where they discover the Father’s love.  Pray for their salvation!
  • Patience – You all know we are not the most patient people on earth.  Pray the Lord refines us through this waiting.  Pray for our patience and trust that everything is His timing.  It is we know.  But we lack patience at times.  Pray that we are faithful in the waiting.
  • Preparation – Pray that we can finish the room THIS WEEK.  It’s move in ready just not up to Amy and Josh specifications yet.  Pray that we can finish decorating and then get necessary supplies / clothes / toiletries or put people on call for them as needed!  We could be going from party of 5 to party of 7 before Valentine’s day!  Let’s go!!

Until next time.  Enjoy these silly guys!  Life is always an adventure.  Thanks for adventuring with us!

On nice days, we visit highschool tracks.  They have the best sandboxes

On nice days, we visit highschool tracks. They have the best sandboxes

Future worship leader

Future worship leader

Just a mess...always

Just a mess…always

still messy

still messy

Friday family days are for Target, free bananas, and Icee

Friday family days are for Target, free bananas, and Icee

 

 

 

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